No Take Backs All Regret

Friday night I couldn’t sleep. At all. I stayed up all night, fueled by the notion that my boyfriend secretly wanted me to break up with him. I’ve been here before in a relationship. I’m not shy about letting my partner know when something is bothering me; when an action or inaction is making me feel unloved/insecure.

My brain hurts. My heart hurts. It’s never easy to break up with someone you still want to bang. 

I texted him. I couldn’t call. Half the time I call, it goes to voicemail. Every time it goes to voicemail I can’t leave a message; the voicemail box is always full.

Everywhere I looked in that relationship, I saw rejection. Real or imagined, I had to walk away for my peace of mind. It’s the only truth I can trust. It’s the one thing I own that I created with my thoughts, actions, and words. It’s not that strong. It might never be. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s