This Bitch Gets Paid, Fucker

At this exact moment I am lying in bed. I am also getting paid. I’m not at the sausage festival. I’m not working. I’m getting paid to do nothing.
Having paid holidays off is like winning the lottery. What do I do with all this free time? How do I spend all this free cash monies? For a workaholic, getting paid to do nothing is a hard concept to wrap my brain around.
I kept forgetting yesterday was Sunday. I knew it was Sunday in the back of my head because I kept seeing all these assholes walking around in public, looking stupid fancy for church. I really hate the church dress up fashion look. It’s loud, conservative, and not at all attractive. I just think if you’re going to dress up then your tits should be on display, your legs should be showing, and your colors should be popping. I never see any of that from the fancy church parade on Sunday. Fucking yawn because you look fucking boring.
Anyway, I should go because my brain is freaking out about me still being in bed. It’s time to be productive and shit. I mean I don’t wanna go but I gotta go.
Peace out bitches! Don’t forget to get paid today. You earned it.


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