The Seven Ear Itch

I should be asleep. I want to be asleep.
I need to get some sleep.
Today is the day John Henry’s toy grenade gets removed from his ear.
That little fucking piece of plastic is haunting me. It’s been toying with me for almost a week.
Did you see what I just did there? I did that just for you. I know you’re into shit like that. Yeah. I know what you want. I know you want me to give it to you.
Moving on before you make it all weird by getting attached.
That tiny,piece of shit toy has been slowly, quietly destroying my sanity.
I did my best to pretend I thought the whole situation was funny. I acted like I was hardly worried that two different doctors in two different buildings being assisted by two different nurses, could not remove a tiny ass toy from John Henry’s ear. I pretended to be fine because I knew that John Henry was beyond worried.
He actually said the words “I’m going to die.” He said that fucked up shit more than once, yo. If you’ve never heard your child reference how fragile and fleeting life is, don’t. Try real hard to avoid that. I’m serious. It will fuck you up. It will keep you awake at night when you should be sleeping; when you need to be sleeping.
There are so many things that could go wrong today.
The snow might prevent me from being able to get John Henry to his appointment.
Something could go really wrong with the surgery to remove the toy grenade from John Henry’s ear.
They might not be able to remove the toy grenade from John Henry’s ear.
Blah blah dreadful horrible unspeakable blah.
It’s fine. Everything is going to be fine. I just need to stay calm for a few more hours. I really need to get some sleep.
Except what if I sleep through my alarms and I don’t wake up in time to take John Henry to his appointment?
Or what if I have an accident with John Henry in the car on the way to his appointment because I didn’t get enough sleep!?
fuckfuckfuckfuckingigotthis. Right?
Did I mention that when John Henry was going on and on about how he was going to die, I couldn’t help but marvel at his natural dramatic drama queen talent? I’m just saying. I have no idea where that ability came from. I mean I’m the most not dramatic person pretty much always.


2 thoughts on “The Seven Ear Itch

  1. This shouldn’t be making me laugh, but you’re still making me laugh. I’m glad that disgusting grenade came out, hoss. Fucking relax.

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