Third Person Comfort Thoughts

When I’m worried about myself I think in third person.
“Sandra has been sick for over a week. Maybe she should go to the doctor.”
I think I’ve said this before but I have trouble with doctors. If they say something important I have to write it down or I will forget it before it’s even said. If I can avoid going to the doctor when I’m sick I will at any cost to my health. Going to the doctor always feels like going to the car repair shop. I have no fucking clue if whatever whoever says is wrong is the truth or not and now I have to decide how much money I want to spend without any clue what my best option is.
I thought I had a kidney stone because I was in more pain than I usually am and it was getting worse. But the doctor said for sure I had an infection but it was doubtful I had a stone. So he sent me to the hospital for a cat scan. Then he called me and told me the cat scan shows I have venous congestion syndrome.
That’s just fucking awesome. It’s three words and they don’t make any sense together and I can’t remember it even though I’ve looked it up three times and texted it at least five. Whatever.
When I found out I had ADD I was relieved. It’s nice to put a name to why I can’t ever find my keys when I leave the house(shout out to Adderall for making that problem disappear. You kick ass!).
Dealing with John Herny’s ADD issues has been stressful and therapeutic at the same time. Old wounds are opened and examined. I find myself open and willing to change for the sake of John Henry’s future. Life is challenging and exciting.
But this whole venous whatever don’tcare business is not okay. I just don’t even want to get into how pissed off and frustrated thinking about it makes me. I can’t even put it in third person to deal with or swallow. “Sandra has venous.” Nope. Stop right there. Sandra can go fuck yourself cuz I’m not dealing with this made up sounding bullshit right now.
In other news, I’m down to 153 pounds and feeling pretty good about my weight loss progress.
I’m also less than a 1000 snapchats away from catching up to tiny dancer!
It’s been five days since I’ve had any caffeine. It would be more but I was drinking diet Dr. Pepper because I didn’t know it had caffeine.
Sandra out.


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